All I Want Is A Room Somewhere

The title of this post is a line from a song by Alan Jay Lerner & Frederick Loewe in the play-movie “My Fair Lady”.  

My mother used to make us cinnamon toast and my sister and I would cozy up on the couch to watch the movie with her, while my mother sat in her pink rocker for a much needed break from the vagaries of her life.

Today, for me (and for all women, whether they realize it or not), the words to this song carry a different theme all together.  The power to be strong enough to ask and seek for what we really need, and to expect that it will be provided; while remaining true to our feminine-nature and unique brand of power, is a dynamic in the mind of many women of all ages on the planet, some of whom may sit down and read this post, this very EVE-ning.

As I have begun to do natal charts for friends and family, I have been studying four feminine archetypes that were discovered in the heavens between 1801-1807.  The one in the forefront of my mind lately, (that has me considering the words of this song this afternoon), is Pallas Athene.  

In Greek mythology, when Pallas was in her mother’s womb, there was a prophesy that she would take her father’s (Zeus) place as ruler.  When Zeus got word of this, he ate her mother and she was born from her father’s head.  Wow!  What a story.  A story that is applicable today in a very unique way, that rings in my head, as it longs for my heart.  

Pallas Athene, is the smart-girl, the upholder of patriarchal order, who gets a bad wrap from feminists, myself included.  As I enter the latter-half of my 40s, I have high hopes for Pallas and all like her.  The Feminine plight, to be able to be strong and vulnerable, simultaneously.  To fight the good fight, without being consumed by the unconscious demagogy that can come from belonging to any group (be it religious, spiritual, corporate, family, or whatever) that turns over the truths of the heart to the traditions of the head, takes the courage and smarts of Pallas, herself.

She is beautifully portrayed in the character of Eowyn, in JRR Tolkin’s “Lord of the Rings”.  Her uncle-father has fallen into a daze, manipulated by the courtiers, who have their own idea about empowering traditions. The kingdom Eowyn loved so dearly is cankered, as she clings to the robes of her patriarch, desperate to wake him up.  She is hungry for both his protection and love.  As the story progresses, he is woken by a man she has a deep admiration and love for.   She refuses to leave them as they head off to battle, so Eowyn (being true to her Pallas nature) disguises herself as a man.  A radical decision, yet her own unique way of   both upholding patriarchy and social order, while still honoring her heart.  

In truth she is simply in love, she is following the power in her heart, with a resolve to give any protection of a loving-warrior-goddess-daughter, that befalls her, at the risk of her own life.  She honors her nature, and refuses again, any separation from her heart.  The battle begins, she fights side by side, with men who don’t even recognize that she is fighting the same battle they are.  As the chapter in the story climaxes, the Nazgul (a “witch”-king who has fallen far into darkness) attacks her beloved uncle father, and "gives" him, as prey, to the hell-hawk the Nasgul rides, to devour.  

With ferocity and fear combined in her soul, she holds the symbol of Pallas Athene (a sword and shield), that is knocked from her arms.
 

The witch-king grabs her, ready to kill her as he says the words:  “You fool, no man can kill me”.   It is at this very moment she remembers who SHE is.  Up until now Eowyn had repressed her own particular brand of innate-power; her ability to love beyond limits, her ability to protect with passion what she loved dearly.  For a moment, in the heat of battle, she set aside her sorrow in the face of vulnerability, betrayal and dismissal, as well as a plethora of other heavy baggage, she had already been carrying on her collective body for generations.  

Mary, a hobbit-man, about equal to her size, (who had discovered her secret) assisted her by injuring the leg of the Nazgul, bringing him to a knee, so she faces him where he lives, mind to mind.  He can't really see or hear her any other way.

At all cost, up to now, while facing the unimaginable loss of her protector, of the love that was not hers to have, of all the desires for trust in the system that had failed her, she had never forsaken her own heart.  It was the heart of Woman that she wore under all the outer masculine trappings, weighing so heavy on her frame, that had enlightened her Pallas Athene mind.  She wielded her sword and said intently with heartfelt resolve:  “I AM NO MAN!!!” and thrust her sword into the head of the Nasgul-witch-king, who dissolves before her.   She knew that to stab him in the heart would be pointless, because that is not where he lived anymore.  

She annihilated the very womb from which her archetype had come.  Yes, it had taught her how to think, yes, it was the womb of the head of a God that gave birth to her and then told her who she was all along; but it was not her home, it was not her womb.  She was, at last, fully a Woman.  She was complete in her calling, in any room she chose.  Any seat at the collective place at the table, kitchen, garage, garden, meeting, or mountain-top, that had been the "room somewhere" she had for so long, longed for.

The nature of Eowyn, Pallas or the collective individuality of woman, is to teach a man’s head from her heart.  It is from the bosom of her psyche that she needs him to understand that to reach her strong, devoted, love-embracing spirit; to truly provide for her a modicum of what she can for him, he must leave his head and follow her into the heart.  For her, it is essential that he surrender to his anima, and meet her where she has been all along.  Like her uncle-father-king, maybe momentarily forgotten, yet her heart is her home nonetheless, where she is faithfully waiting for him to follow.

The image on this post speaks to me, in relation to these thoughts I call my Syliloquie for today.  It is from: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/07/17/star-wars-wedding-photo_n_3612947.html

Click here to View the YouTube Clip from Lord of the Rings