Sunday, December 7, 2008

Yes Tom Carson, There is a Santa Claus!!!

Tom and I were flying home from a great Thanksgiving at my Sister & Brother-in-law's in Denver. The airport was fairly quiet, as we arrived early for departure. With a bit of a wait, I mused as Santa Claus came and sat (with his wife, undoubtedly Mrs. Santa) in the row just in front of us.

It was delightful to see the faces on the people arriving at our gate. As their gaze scanned the horizon, Tom and I could see a grin appear on their faces as they de-boarded the plane and noticed who was sitting at the gate. In particular the children who looked at him with a measure of Joy and disbelief together.

I chuckled as this kind Santa Claus was prepared with candy from his travel tote for each child that approached with parents in hand, for a hug, a smile and HO, HO, HO.

Tom, who has just started saying "oh brother, mom" when I ask if he still believes in Santa, got to watch the reaction of kids and adults alike.

We both felt the reality of the Christmas Spirit that Santa stands for. It was undeniable as we saw the abundance of Spirit in each traveler who passed him on their journey.

At one point I turned to Tom and asked: "so are you really too old to believe in Santa?"...He just rolled his eyes, but watching the good-will beam across Tom's face as he looked on was priceless!

When we got settled back in at home, I found that he had taken this picture with my phone.

Friday, October 31, 2008

Sad Tricks of Stone Gate Provo

I took my son trick or treating this evening. As he is getting older (6th grade now) I agreed to hang back a bit.

A little over a year ago, his best friend, Zach moved away. I was also very close with Zach's mom. Halloween is one time when they are missed the most, because our tradition was to visit in her culdesack while Zach's Dad, Jeffery, escorted the all the kids on their trick or treat beat.

Last year Tom chose not to go, it just wouldn't be the same without Zach. This year he was geared up to participate in the festivities solo. He had it all mapped out in his head. I would sit tight at strategic locations close by while he went into three adjacent neighborhoods close to home, excited to be on his own.

Northgate is part of our church community called a "Ward", Vintage is a further branch of that and Stonegate another. Stonegate is a gated community where some of his classmates live, as well as his football coach, a great guy, who Tom has come to admire very much.

So as we finished the rounds, with just Stonegate left, it was clear he had been ok, but still missing Zach. I parked my car at the entrance of the gated community, and watched as Tom cruised on his long-board in full Halloween regalia.

I try to put feelings I have aside about gated communities. But I often find myself in contemplation on how so many of us (myself included) spend a huge amount of effort, resources and energy into creating a sense of immunity. Trying to stay neutral, I admittedly have still found myself observing a rare breed behind many a gate, be it at the Zoo or "gated communities" such as this.

These feelings tend to prick my consciousness into self-reflection as I often pass by Stonegate in my everyday comings and goings, with neighbors and friends. As I cruise by, I reflect on where in my own life I am investing too much energy into creating immunity from others, or just holding back my responsibility to fully participate with the experiences of life, unfiltered by rose (or in this case, limestone) covered glasses.

Separateness is such an illusion, and it has lead to more suffering in the name of God and immunity, than any other aspect of Human Consciousness.

Heavy thinking for Halloween, I know, but spurred by Tom's return to the car. When he rode up to the car, I asked: "So was it as great as you hoped, did you get to say hi to coach, and see some of your classmates from school?"

Tom said: "No, coach wasn't home, and most of the houses I knocked at asked if I lived in Stonegate and when I said no, they told me to go."

I asked in disbelief: "Grown-ups said that?"

He said: "Yes. Most of them, but there was a really nice lady too, who gave me candy and asked my last name."

Even though Tom wasn't put off at all, (he has a really beautiful "live and let live" spirit about him). My heart sank so low, as he told me of grown men, who have been blessed with incredible monetary means, turning away an 11 year old boy over a fifty cent piece of candy.

Tom never saw my eyes fill with tears on our drive back home. The experience stirred up such deep emotion in me. So many sad feelings: Not just that 85% of the homes he went to behind those gates didn't give him candy (who cares), but sad that my son had to see the afrontedness of people, with so much potential, yet such unfortunate behavior.

I guess, what made me feel so sad was tonight my son had to learn, that there are grown ups in the world, who have gated themselves into immunity from kindness and the celebration of a child's heart.

On our drive home I explained that if we let ourselves get angry or hurt over something like that, then we are passing judgment on them, we are creating our own immunity, and gating ourselves up, in a way that's not seen by the eye, but is really harmful for us.

Tom said: "I know mom".

He knew I needed those words more than he did.

Such a valuable experience, such a valuable lesson.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Guilty Pleasure

A random guilty pleasure: Rubbing my six-pack belly while singing "Did I Fill the World with Love" from the 1969 movie Good-bye Mr. Chips.

I've often told my son Tom: If I could hope for you to become anything in your life, as you grow into Manhood, it would be to BE GENEROUS. Be generous with your time with others, share of your monetary means, notice where you can do the most good, live from the strength in your heart. Do whatever you need to do to be healthy, wealthy and wise, so you are blessed with the capacity to do so. Where ever I am in your life, near or far, my soul will sing with you!

Fill the World With Love:

In the morning of my life I shall look to the sunrise.
At a moment in my life when the world is new.
And the blessing I shall ask is that God will grant me,
To be brave and strong and true,
And to fill the world with love my whole life through.

In the noontime of my life I shall look to the sunshine,
At a moment in my life when the sky is blue.
And the blessing I shall ask shall remain unchanging.
To be brave and strong and true,
And to fill the world with love my whole life through

In the evening of my life I shall look to the sunset,
At a moment in my life when the night is due.
And the question I shall ask only I can answer.
Was I brave and strong and true?
Did I fill the world with love my whole life through?

Did I fill the world with love
Did I fill the world with love
Did I fill the world with love my whole life through

A couple of summers ago Tom and I were patronizing our favorite shaved ice booth. As we tapped our straws and slurped our mango/tiger's blood mix, Tom said: "I am going to manifest One-Million dollars into my savings account by next summer." As my mind quickly filed through all the uses a nine-year old would have for that kind of money, I surrendered myself to the moment and just asked: "Tom, why would you want a million dollars?"

With out looking up from his shaved ice Tom said: "So when we come back next year, I can give that girl (who prepared our shaved ice) a Thousand-Dollar tip!"

It was a pure moment...I told Tom how much I loved that this was the reason he wanted that kind of money. And he slurped out the words: "Well, it's really great shaved ice!"

I'm a lotus

A Lotus grows out of mud and sludge to become something extra-ordinary. This blog is dedicated to inspiring you to do so.

To find the effortless satisfaction that comes from claiming your own personal Dharma (full-filled life purpose), and inspiring others to do the same!

This poem was written at one of my earliest moments of awakening, with the kind, warm, whisper of a dear friend, (thank you, my beloved Rex), echoing in my ear:

I’m a Lotus:

Those who take
Stealing petals of my blossom

Awakening beauty
To bury in weeds and mud

Lost in the annihilation of my soul
Ignorant of peace

He breathes life into my heart
Casting off the money changers
Softest warmth of his whisper
In my ear saying:

“You are the Temple”

Copyright © 1990 by White Mountain Yoga L.L.C